What is the difference between insecurity and inferiority?

Dr. Lorin Bradbury, author of "Treasures from an Old Book, Ancient Wisdom for a Modern World".

by Dr. Lorin Bradbury

Insecurity is a feeling of general uneasiness, or nervousness, in which you feel less than confident, and experience anxiety or apprehension. Inferiority, on the other hand, is a value judgment whereby you compare yourself with others and perceive yourself as less than the one, or ones, with whom you make the comparison. Insecurity is a normal state experienced by all at one time or another. Inferiority is pathological.

A medical doctor and psychotherapist by the name of Alfred Alder in his book titled The Neurotic Character first described the term “inferiority complex” in 1912. The term “inferiority complex” revolves around social status, power, ego, and dominance. You may have an inferiority complex if you feel inferior and believe that other people are significantly better than you.

The reason inferiority is pathological is that a distorted perception becomes reality to the person who feels inferior. An experiment was conducted in which subjects were told: “We want to see how strangers respond to you when you have a scar on your face. So, we’re going to take each of you into a separate room and use make-up to put a big, red scar on your left cheek.” Subjects entered a room, and make-up was applied to their faces, creating an ugly scar.

The people getting a scar on their faces couldn’t see what was happening to them. Once the scar was created, the make-up artist held up mirror so the subjects could see their scars. The mirror was placed out of sight and the subjects were told; “Now I’m going to put a little finishing powder on your scar, just so it doesn’t smear.”

However, instead of putting finishing powder on their scars, the scars were removed. So now the scar-less people went out into the lobbies of doctor’s offices, hotels, and airports. Overwhelmingly, the scar-less subjects came back and reported that people were rude to them. They claimed people stared at their scars! It was all in their imaginations.

The primary conditioning factor that determines whether you succumb to the inferior feelings or rise above the circumstance is your attitude towards criticism and failure. If you have always associated criticism and failure as a value judgment, you are likely to succumb to inferior feelings when criticism and failure occur.

On the other hand, if you view criticism and failure as separate from who you are as a person, you are less likely to be affected by that criticism or failure. Remember the creative imagination component of your mind. What is so interesting is that people who have an inferiority complex can be quite successful in one or more areas of their lives but be overwhelmed with comparative feelings of inferiority, often in one area.

Remember a distorted perception becomes reality if you feel inferior. It may be as simple as hearing that someone doesn’t like you, which starts a chain reaction of distorted perceptions of self, resulting in reacting differently toward that person, or anyone associated with that person. And while you feel like you are sleeping on a bed of nails, the person you are comparing with is sleeping soundly, not even knowing he or she is controlling you.

The following are possible signs of an inferiority complex: Sensitivity to criticism, an overly critical attitude toward others, an inappropriate response to flattery, a tendency to blame others, feelings of persecution, and a dislike for competition.

Overcoming an inferiority complex is not easy, but it can be done. First, you must accept that your inferior feelings are the result of irrational beliefs within you, rather than the fault of someone else. Then you must consciously take steps to challenge your irrational beliefs. Below are some steps that may be helpful:

Change your thoughts by changing your negative self-talk: Whenever you find that you are using phrases like: “I know he won’t accept me because I’m dumb” or “I never have anything worthwhile to say,” stop and change that kind of self-talk.

Dismiss the foolishness of others: You are not of less value because you were told you would never amount to anything when you were a child. Don’t accept someone’s value judgment of you as true. And remember it is possible that the barbs thrown at you by a negative critical person may reflect another inferiority complex. So don’t get into a tit-for-tat situation.

Fix your corrupted self-image: Cast down those corrupted imaginations. Remember, those value judgments are coming from within you. If necessary, get help through counseling or psychotherapy.

Remove the labels (fool, idiot, stupid, etc.) that you have acquired. And be careful not to fulfill those labels by acting and reacting to perceived value judgments of others.

Install new beliefs using self-talk. For example, “I really don’t know what the other person is saying about me.” I am creating that person in my mind.

Build your self-confidence: Remember, self-esteem is the result of what you do, not what you believe others think of you.

Lorin L. Bradbury, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist in private practice in Bethel. For appointments, he can be reached at 543-3266. If you have questions that you would like Dr. Bradbury to answer in the Delta Discovery, please send them to The Delta Discovery, P.O. Box 1028, Bethel, AK 99559, or e-mail them to [email protected].

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